How do I explain this feeling of despair

One day here

The next day gone

Inconsistent in desire

My sins haunt me

Taking the air out of my lungs

I am undone

Folded under the pressure of life

Is this what being an adult is like

My decisions are small

Growing in uncertainty

Bills to be paid

Books to read

Bosses to please

So much for love

So much for laughter

When you are an adult

All your planning leads to disaster