A Celery Detox

green detox

Alright folks, I am back on my grind!

And when I say grind I mean my pepper grinder. Honestly, is there anything better than the smell of fresh ground pepper?

You don’t have to answer me.

Hmmm, now that I think about it the smell of garlic and onion frying in butter is pretty amazing as well.

This was supposed to come out on Sunday but I kind of died internally. I hope to be more consistent from now on but we’ll see. This pain is no joke.

Back to the topic at hand, celery detox.

You may or may not have heard about it. That’s why I am here to enlighten you, young one. You may thank me in shekels. Just throw them at me. Make it dew.

You may have noticed the new trend that started up this year with the miraculous effect of celery juice.

I want you to take a moment and disregard the things that you have heard about celery. It is not a miraculous vegetables but has a few things that can help your body feel better. Celery is good for inflammation, lowering blood sugar, cleaning out your digestive system, and helping you lose water weight.

There are two ways to do a celery detox; Blended or eaten raw. The amount of celery here is the key. You will need to focus on both quality and quantity. After you have taken your chug of celery, be sure to drink a good amount of water.

Plan absolutely nothing for the day, your digestive system will hate you, then love you tremendously. You will demolish bathrooms with the odor or maybe just nose’s hairs. Needless to say, I hope you are the only one home for the duration of this detox. While your system is being cleanse, be sure to stock up on vegetables and protein. Your body will burn through a lot of waste and water weight.

You can take this detox for a week and then tell me thank you. I accept bit coins, shekels, and the third-born child.

Ingredients (Makes 2 servings)

2 cups of chopped celery

1/4 cup of basil

1 tbsp of lime juice

1 cup of 100% apple juice (or 2 cups of chopped Fuji apples)


  1. Take your ingredients and place it in a blender.
  2. Blend until your desired consistency.
  3. Happy drinking!

As always my friends, stay healthy, stay happy, and keep moving forward.

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