The last few weeks have been pretty hard for me. There has been tremendous pain, overwhelming anxiety, and that no good bastard name depression. It hasn’t been easy, there were moments when I got so upset I just started throwing pillows.
I really didn’t want to break anything but also needed to get my frustration out. My doctors say it’s a natural part of the pain and unhappiness I feel.
Yet I don’t understand what they mean by natural. It’s natural to feel upset all the time and on the verge of tears? It’s natural not to be able to walk for days because my legs are in too much pain to put pressure on them?
All of that is natural?
I refuse to believe that I have to live this constant state of “Screw you and your little dog too”. It can’t be right. So I wish to live beyond the pain. Beyond this uncertainty that keeps me on my toes nervous to make any type of commitment that I haven’t agonized over.
I will definitely laugh and smile, I choose to not let this ridiculous pain take away my inappropriate sense of humour or my love for stripper jokes. There’s no way I am going to stop talking to inanimate objects or flirting with books. It’s not happening.
I will not let this pain or anything else get the best of me. I refuse to accept a life that I can not live to the fullest.
I would recommend that you do the same. Keep fighting for that you that you seek. Don’t you dare quit. Rise above it all and become the person who fought through all the pain and suffering and still won.
This is your friendly reminder to keep going.
As always my friends, stay healthy, stay happy, and keep moving forward.