” Pretend “

In the back of my mind

I can hear the words forming

“I am fine”

A smile appears on my face

Then a wince

And yet

I still pretend

I am not in pain

There is no wrong here

“I am fine”

“I am fine”

But I’m not

My nerves are on fire

And I am crying

Begging to be freed

From this pain

That claims me whole

Takes my very soul

And destroys all that I am

I am not fine

I can not be

The words form in my throat

But I refuse them

I won’t say them

I won’t utter a word

I will keep it to myself

And pretend with a smile

“I am fine”

While my insides burn

And the rage builds

Teeth gritted

Fist clenched

“I am fine”

To the very end

Let’s play pretend

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Brilliant poem. So relatable. Xx

    Like

  2. jessierenea says:

    Such a true poem for how post people are even though they say they’re fine! There’s always a little pain behind that “I’m okay” response. Great Post!!
    https://jessierenea.com/appreciate-the-journey

    Like

    1. jjnibbs says:

      Glad you liked it. It’s okay not to be okay

      Liked by 1 person

      1. jessierenea says:

        Agreed 100%

        Like

  3. Kim says:

    A very powerful poem and so very relatable.

    Like

  4. Lei Esther says:

    I really love your works. I also write poems. But yours are always relatable. powerful. easy to digest. I love the imagery you’ve conjured up. I just love every lil thing about this poem. It’s saddening. And at the same time, amazing. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    1. jjnibbs says:

      Thank you so much!

      Like

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